Evil Me

I am a bad, bad, person. With a horrible sense of humor. Please let me confess to someone out there...



After I took Sebi to Mother's Day Out, I decided to head over to Sam's to kill some time. I was checking out the cordless phones and dreaming of using one that didn't run out of batteries 2 minutes into a phone call. And then I was looking at the printers. It prints, it scans, it copies, it faxes. It probably wipes your behind if you set it up in the bathroom...



Then I was looking at household appliances and extremely expensive pots and pans, and I thought how easy cooking would be on a non-stick pan that actually was non-stick. And all the eggs I would save, since usually one or two end up coating the bottom of my pan and serve as my non-stick surface whenever I make scrambled eggs. Weird, but it's true.



Since I was on this "window shopping" spree, I headed over to the home furnishings to continue my fantasy and saw this beautiful wood 7 piece table that I fell in love with. I was stroking it like it was my new pony, and I said to the babies, "This is what we need, guys!". And that is when I learned that you should be careful which aisles you roam at Sam's, and which products you are looking at, and what statements you are saying about said products.



Because it was in this aisle while I was looking at the aforementioned table and declaring it should be mine and I should own it and have it and keep it forever and call it George..that Rachel approached me. Poor Rachel.



She was pushing the patio enclosures and coverings and thought I might take interest. And this is where bad me came out and thought I'd (unbeknownst to her), write her into my fantasy world. I listened enthusiastically. They were beautiful patio coverings. And this is when I literally saw a cloud above Rachel's head with her thoughts that read, "I've got this sale." And somehow, my fantasy was spiraling and I was suddenly giving her my name and phone number and then she was asking for an address.



Crap.



The only way I'd be able to afford what she's trying to get me to buy is if I lived on a street with Ranch, or Forest, or Creek, or River in it's title. So naturally I gave my address as 1042 River Forest Creek Ranch. I buckled under the pressure, so don't laugh at the moronity of my fantasy street.



But I sure would like a peek at my fantasy house...



Anyway. Rachel, if you are out there, I'm sorry for wasting your time. But look me up in 7 -10 years after I have my master's degree and we'll talk.