So, we all know I haven't been posting, and I've felt really bad about that, and I just gotta come clean and say that the commenting really does affect the posts. And this isn't about people out there reading my life and my family's life and my insane experiences that I have and letting me know that they hear me....but somehow it is.
And I have been humbled. (please picture me with head down) Because I tend to make EVERYTHING about me. I know this. It's my biggest fault. I can talk and talk and talk and talk FOREVER. I want to be a caring, nurturing, considerate, friend and yet I always end up just being the one that dominates the conversation. Basically, I suck as a friend. I can't believe that my few close friends that I have stick around. BUT- I am aware. And willing to make changes.
I'm a lover, not a fighter.
wait. maybe I should be a fighter in this scenerio.... Lord, help me. I have no clue what to be but me.
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6 comments:
Are you pretending to be me as you write this? Cause you described me. Perfectly.
I don't know what happened but girl, we all do this for the comments. *cough* and the memories. Priceless memories.
You don't need to be anyone but you :)
Hey, it's your blog...post what you want, the comments will follow.
Wait I'm confused. You want more comments or you feel like you should be leaving more comments?
I just remind myself that this is for no one else except my family. It is my way of keeping a diary, so that when the kids are grown, and my memory is gone I can be reminded of all the wonderful moments we shared. It is also a testiment to Kennedy and Lleyton that I loved them completely.
Today "lack of comments" is almost the equivalent in "my day" of "no one calls me". I know what you mean. Deep down I want someone to be amazed about my wit/writing/humorous look/etc on life and build myself up through what is basically a hit or miss way of communicating with the world. Really, our true relationships, the ones that are near and dear to us, are the ones we blog about in the first place and want to tell the world about.
I've always thought of myself as "the loud one". One of Jen's friends even asked her once if her mother had a volume button. Without batting an eye, she looked him STRAIGHT in the eye and said, "No. Does YOURS?" Bless her. Mike always told me prior to my attendance at some corporate function (for which I was having my bailing out thoughts, the "everyone is skinny and sophisticated but me" pity party thoughts) "Just be yourself. I love "yourself". It was good advice and has held me in good stead.
That doesn't mean I won't try to change what I feel needs changing. But I should change it because I feel a need for improvement. NOT because I THINK the world PRERCEIVES that I should change. We'll leave that to celebrities and politicians who are good at hiring spin doctors and can pay for therapy.
Whether this is what you mean or not, we should fight the temptation to have for wont of a better term, "Blog envy". It's the new thing you know.
Pity party over. :)
I'm with Em...I could have written this post. Wait...I think I did mention my trait as a sucky friend one time.
I think we all do these things....and I LOVE it when people comment on my posts...makes me feel like y'all "get" me.
And I think you're HILARIOUS!
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